- Amy Speace became a mom for the first time one month shy of her 50th birthday.
- The musician underwent IVF and used donor eggs.
- She does yoga and meditates daily as part of her regime to be a patient, hands-on mom.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Amy Speace, 56, a singer-songwriter from Nashville. It has been edited for length and clarity.
When I was younger, I never wanted to have children. My career as a singer-songwriter meant everything to me. At 30, I got signed to a record label and became ambitious, touring all over the country.
Then, as I got older, my attitude to motherhood changed. “I’m so busy doing this and that,” I thought. “What if I forget to have kids?” Then, at 46, I met my second husband, Jamey, now 50.
We tried for a baby the minute we were together. But we didn’t conceive. We looked into adoption, but the cost was prohibitive. Also, it might have taken years.
Luckily, Jamey’s company health insurance covered about 85% of fertility treatments. So we decided to try IVF. The doctors said my eggs were too old to be viable at 49, and we should choose a donor.
First, I had a full exam to check whether my body could carry a baby. I had surgery to remove some polyps from my uterus. Then, we picked a donor who had a similar profile to mine.
Her eggs were fertilized by Jamey’s sperm, and I was placed on the hormones to get ready for the transfer. It took two attempts, but we were lucky enough to get pregnant in July 2017.
I took a year off touring after my son was born
The pregnancy was super easy. I did yoga throughout. We hoped for a natural birth, and my doctor said that would be fine. She said that I was healthier than many 20-year-olds.
However, the baby had other ideas. I was induced due to back labor but was told it could take 36 hours for me to be dilated enough to deliver. We opted for a C-section because I didn’t want to go through all that and end up needing an emergency one.
Our son, Huck, was born healthy. I fell in love with him the moment he was placed in my arms.
We went through the usual thing of sleepless nights for four months when you can’t see straight. But things got better. I played a festival when I brought him along with support from my mother-in-law. It was hard because I was nursing and pumping. I realized I would just be home with him and took a year off touring.
I was tired, but I don’t think I got more tired than younger moms did. I remained active and meditated daily. My spirituality has made me more patient and calm. It’s helped me deal with the reality that I’ll be almost 70 when Huck graduates high school. I’ll never see him when he reaches my age.
I also practice gratitude. I was not ready to have a baby until I was 49. Then, a miracle happened. It was the way my life was supposed to be.
Jamey and I went through a hard time during the pandemic, and we separated and divorced. We shielded Huck and our relationship is very amicable as we co-parent him.
I laugh about bringing up a 6-year-old during menopause
It took a while for me to find my group of similar-minded moms. I’d go to the playground, and it would be full of 20-somethings watching their kids. But I made a good friend through Huck after he started playing with her 5-year-old. I’ve also established a network of older moms who read my blog.
We often discuss the funny side, such as raising a little kid during menopause. Huck, now 6, has his own room, but he sometimes brings his blankie and crawls into bed with me.
I have unbelievable night sweats. Sometimes I have to change three times a night. I’ll put my son back in his bed and he’ll say, “Mommy, you’re all wet.”
Laughter is part of being in the moment. Whatever the future brings, we’ll live our lives that way.
Do you have an interesting story to share with Business Insider about being a new parent in later life? Please send details to jridley@businessinsider.com
Source link
lol
