- Maya Smith founded The Doux, a hair care brand, with her husband Brian.
- The couple also has five kids, ages 13 to 22.
- Smith says true self-care involves supporting others and establishing boundaries.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Maya Smith, founder of The Doux. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I’ve been a licensed cosmetologist since high school but never wanted to be a salon owner. I’d known a lot of salon owners, and the business always took over their life. It was all-consuming, and I didn’t want that.
I married my husband Brian in 2008 and we moved to Germany, where he was stationed with the military. There was a huge need for cosmetologists who could work on textured hair, so I opened a salon. A few years later, I realized there was a gap in quality products that worked for all of my clients. That’s when Brian and I started The Doux.
Balancing a military career, a salon, a product launch, and five boys is no joke. Doing it successfully has impacted every area of our lives.
There are no gender roles in our home
Brian and I always operate as a team, dividing business work and housework. There’s no room for gender roles when you have five children to raise. On a typical day when we lived in Germany, Brian would go to work before the sun rose. I’d get the kids to school and open the salon, driving the only car that fits the whole family. He’d stop by to switch cars and then pick the kids up while I worked.
At home, whoever was free was cooking dinner or folding laundry. It was all hands on deck all the time. We see our sons act that way in their relationships now.
We didn’t worry about people’s expectations
Because we have a large family and a business, we’ve had to structure our home in ways that seemed strange to other people. Our day-to-day and weekends were different from our peers. For example, the boys didn’t play organized sports because I was always in the salon on Saturdays.
By doing what worked for us without worrying about expectations, we were able to ensure that our kids were a priority and that our business stayed on top.
I’ve continued to learn more about business and finances
I grew up solidly middle class — my dad was an engineer and we had plenty of stability. But since The Doux has grown, I’m making million-dollar decisions every day.
I’m operating in a different atmosphere, and I’m exposed to financial concepts I wasn’t even aware of coming up. I’ve worked hard to immerse myself in that new environment and thrive there.
We help the kids financially
Since The Doux launched to major retail in 2017, our financial success has given us more flexibility to be present for our kids. That shows up in mundane way, like putting the bills on autopay. Autopay gives me mental space, and I’ve aimed to pass that along to our kids.
We’re able to pay for their college and cars and help with housing. I want to take those daily financial strains off their plate so they can focus on building their credit or learning about real estate investing.
We support other Black creatives
Once, a client gave me a $10,000 loan without being asked. It was a small investment to her, but it meant the world to me when I was in a really vulnerable place. It helped my business succeed.
Now that I have more financial flexibility, I want to pay that forward. Financial constraints keep a lot of Black creatives from being great. They might have a wealth of talent and family support, but if they don’t have $5,000 to invest in a hair salon or to buy fabric to start a clothing line, they can’t pursue their ideas. So, Brian and I always look for ways to support and assist other creatives.
I put up strict boundaries
I used to think self-care was going to the spa, which worked for a while. But after some time, I couldn’t empty my brain and relax when I got there. Unresolved thoughts — relationship and work issues — kept popping in.
I realized I needed to unplug more and set many hard boundaries to protect myself. Sometimes, that looks like withdrawing from people around me. It’s what my temperament needs to care for not only my physical self but also my emotional and spiritual selves.
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