It’s no secret that day care in the US is expensive. Being a working parent in today’s economy is impossible — we debated one of us staying at home with the kids because of how expensive childcare can be. Basically, we cannot afford it, but we pay for it anyway.
I am well aware that “paying for it anyway” is a luxury in itself. Growing up, I felt that I had a well-rounded childhood, and I try to mirror this for my own kids.
I went to a private school
My childhood started in a private preschool setting and in many ways, I feel as though that experience led me toward a successful path in terms of social connections and education. When I had children of my own, sending them to a similar preschool was a high priority for me. I never once considered the fact that the cost wouldn’t allow them to go until I was faced with that reality.
When we had one child, sending her to our school of choice was difficult but doable. We had to tighten some purse strings and look at our budget more closely, but overall, it wasn’t too much of a stretch. But then, it was time to send our second child.
Suddenly, sending both of our daughters to this wildly expensive preschool was no longer something we could just do. In fact, we were at the point where it became something we simply could not afford, no matter how many purse strings we tightened. It costs a little under $15,000 per child a year to attend the school.
I had to face the fact that the dream life I had imagined in my head may not be something I could provide for my daughters.
We struggled financially
And yet, my stubbornness to hold onto my dream led us to the first day of school, two daughters in tow, ready to embark on a new year at our beloved school. We were excited for them, yes, but the looming monthly payment was sitting directly on our shoulders. A lot had to change to afford it.
We struggled a lot that year (luckily, they only overlapped one year until my oldest went to a public elementary school). Things were, and still are, very stressful. But we wouldn’t change it. My girls are well-rounded, emotionally and socially inept, and truly in love with their school. They are kind to their friends, respectful of adults, and simply happy kids who run into any classroom setting with ease and excitement. My oldest walked into Kindergarten ready to conquer anything it threw at her because her preschool taught her how.
School gave them a lot more than education
At first, I chose to send them to private preschool for their early education and social learning, but in the end, it became so much more than that. The preschool became a family. It is the place where I met my best friends and my entire support system.
Without the connections I made when my oldest started there, I would have felt lost and alone in the world of parenting. I look back at all of the memories and the connections we built in the four years at the school — and the ones we continue to make as my youngest still attends — and I am so grateful for the decision to keep going and to make it work.
Being able to drop my kids off in a place that feels safe and like home means I am able to build my career. It gave me a sense of community, a sense of peace, and the ability to focus on myself, which is a luxury you can’t put a price on when you are parenting young children.
Yes, we continue to struggle, and a lot of our financial issues wouldn’t be present if we had chosen to send them elsewhere or to stay home with them. Sure, we had to forgo any type of summer vacation this year and my daughter’s kindergarten wardrobe is made up entirely of hand-me-downs, but we are OK. We will overcome it, and I am confident that we will always be able to look back and know that our choice for their early education was worth it.
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