On August 13, 2023, my husband and I dropped off our only child, Hailey, at the University of Nebraska. She was thrilled to move out and begin her journey toward independence.
Because Hailey always had a knack for helping people, she chose pre-nursing as a major. She also decided to arrive on campus early to go through sorority rush. Hailey was so excited to live in the campus dorms with her best friend from kindergarten, join the Tri Delta sorority, and embark on her pre-nursing journey. She shared this enthusiastically on social media.
Then, reality hit her about halfway through the first semester. Hailey’s college biology courses were much more grueling than in high school, and she struggled to sit through the lectures. Worried that a poor biology grade would sink her GPA, she called me in a panic and questioned whether nursing was the right path for her.
After careful consideration, my daughter decided to leave college and start a new path. I encouraged her every step of the way.
My daughter started to explore options beyond college
Even with a degree change to another helping profession like teaching or psychology, Hailey struggled to imagine how she would endure the rest of her college career. She knew that it would take at least four years in the classroom to reach a career where she’d be working with people.
Having done my own share of climbing up the career ladder, I encouraged my daughter to pay attention to what surged her energy in work and school.
I frequently asked her what responsibilities she loved most in her jobs and why. I encouraged her to reflect on why she chose her high school course electives, like culinary and psychology. I reminded her often that my only “requirement” for picking a degree was that she could use her best talents. I asked her what she thought those talents might be or not be.
As Hailey reflected on her early career interests in being a cosmetologist, she thought it might be the perfect way to use her creativity and people skills. She said, “Mom, I think I should have toured cosmetology schools before committing to the University.” And so, we made appointments to tour local cosmetology schools.
She nervously talked with the admissions counselor about her goals, but when we walked into the classroom where students were brushing even strokes of hair color on a mannequin, I felt her energy shift. A huge smile grew on her face. Hailey’s confidence beamed as she began to ask questions.
After the first school visit, she said, “This is it, Mom. I can see myself doing this as my career.”
She courageously then dropped out of college
Near the end of her first semester of college, Hailey courageously withdrew, told her friends, and notified her sorority.
It wasn’t easy. She worried, telling me, “Mom, you spent so much money already on my college expenses.” Instead of lamenting with her about the cost of tuition today and the money invested, I celebrated her ability to have the courage to quit what wasn’t serving her.
She took her finals and moved out. Exactly one year after that college drop-off, on August 13, 2024, she completed cosmetology classroom training and announced her appointment books were open to take clients at the student salon.
Her short time in college wasn’t wasted
When Hailey was making her decision, she was nervous that her one semester in college would be a waste. The thing about education is that learning never goes to waste. She has a full semester of college credits under her belt that will inform her worldview and future business choices. Those credits await her should she ever choose to go back to college.
The friends she met in the dorms and sorority house continue to support her. These relationships build a foundation for future clients, and referrals are the backbone of a thriving business. These friends were the first to sit in her salon chair on her opening day. I don’t see any of that as a waste.
In today’s expensive collegiate environment, pursuing a four-year degree just to uphold your parents’ or cultural approval can be a six-figure mistake. Pursuing what’s wrong for you is far more costly than any money you’ve already sunk into that path. Saying no to what doesn’t serve you builds self-confidence — just like it did for my daughter.
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