My name is Bethaney. Not Bethany, the most common version of the spelling. And thankfully, it’s not Bethanie or Bethanee (no offense to those with such spellings). My name is normal enough, but it also deviates from the path of least resistance.
On one hand, it has allowed me to snag email addresses and social media handles easily. That extra letter really does make all the difference. But on the other hand, I have had to spell my name for people my entire life. I still do it almost daily.
Whenever I share my email, I say, “That’s Bethaney, B – E- T – H – A – N – E – Y, and Phillips with two Ls.” Thank goodness I’ve been blessed with “easy” last names, between my maiden and married; I’m not sure I could handle two monikers that have to be spelled out.
I’ve had my name spelled wrong a record number of times. Whether in print, online, or via email, you name it, my name has been misspelled in that medium. The look of it is like nails on a chalkboard but for the eyes, and yet, after decades, I’m weirdly used to the view.
There’s a bit of irony behind the spelling of my name
The kicker about the way my name is spelled — this fact that has caused so many waves in my life — is that there is no real reason behind it. My parents didn’t even do it on purpose.
My mom’s response is, “I just thought that’s how it was spelled. ” She’s claimed ignorance since I could ask, so I believe this to be true. Dad just went with the flow.
To their credit, the 1980s didn’t come with quick Google access. It’s not like they could do a spellcheck en route to the hospital, so it stuck.
My name has given me an obsession with spelling
Due to this issue, which was assigned to me at birth, I have an unhealthy obsession with spelling. As a writer, I double-check to ensure names are listed correctly — even, and perhaps especially, if they are spelled in a unique way.
A regular hobby of mine is reviewing baby announcement spellings. I had to leave a popular name-shaming group because the unhinged combinations of letters bothered me so much. Just reading them caused me unnecessary stress!
In addition, I abhor the trend of “unique” or “different” spellings. “Their name is X, but we spell it Y” is a phrase I have heard infinite times. How many unnecessary conversations will the child be forced to have? They’ll either be forced to have a conversation or ignore the situation and instead watch their name spelled incorrectly time and time again.
It informed how I named my own kids
With my own kids’ names, there were strict spelling criteria: they had to be easy to spell and easy to pronounce. I wanted someone to read them without hesitation. Think of a teacher calling roll on the first day of school. The names should be said confidently and with assurance.
Meanwhile, my husband’s criteria was that the names not be in a top-100 popularity list. Growing up as Josh, he didn’t want them to need their last initial to differentiate who was who.
With our rules in mind, we named them Copper and Colt, which are easy to read, say, and spell.
Sure, they will likely have a gnarly time finding email addresses or social media handles that suit. They may have to dip into numbers and middle initials for something new. But considering we gave them the gift of never having to spell their names to others, it’s a small price to pay. We’ve saved them all that time, and they can do the one-time work to save a lifetime of headaches.
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lol
