Taking just a five-second break during an argument could help couples stop conflict in its tracks, according to a study.
Researchers found that when couples were forced to take a short break from a competitive game in a study, their negative emotions and aggression eased.
Couples also tended to match each other’s level of aggression during the game, the study said, but the enforced break disrupted this pattern of retaliation and resulted in them being less aggressive. The findings were published August 7 in the Nature journal Communications Psychology.
Lead author Annah McCurry, a Ph.D. candidate at the University of St Andrews School of Psychology and Neuroscience in Scotland, said in a press release that the findings could easily be related to everyday situations.
“This is a simple, free, and effective ‘hack’ to reduce negative emotions during arguments,” McCurry said. “It’s cheaper than couple’s therapy.”
McCurry, who has worked as a frontline support worker for people who have experienced domestic violence, stressed to Business Insider that this approach applies only to every day, low-stakes conflicts that can escalate, such as someone forgetting to take out the trash, rather than in any abusive situations.
Taking a break appeared to make participants less aggressive
In the study, 81 couples were asked to play 30 rounds of a game where they could blast an unpleasant noise at their partner at a volume of their choice.
The participants, who were mainly undergraduate students and had been together for an average of eight months, wore headphones and stood facing each other with a monitor, keyboard, and red button in front of them.
When the word “GO!!” appeared on the monitor, the participants were instructed to press the red button as quickly as they could. Whoever pressed the button first won, and was prompted to select a “blast level” for their partner to hear. This prompt appeared either immediately or was delayed by a five, 10, or 15-second forced break.
Once the winner chose how loud the sound would be, it played in the loser’s headphones for two seconds. The next round began immediately after.
During the experiment, the participants’ facial expressions were captured by a 360-degree camera, and advanced AI and machine learning were used to analyze their emotional responses. This meant the researchers didn’t have to rely on participants’ self-reported accounts of how they felt in the moment, which can often be inaccurate, the study said.
On rounds when the prompt to choose a blast volume was delayed, participants chose a lower volume for their partner than when there was no break, McCurry said. This indicated that the break made them less aggressive.
The researchers also found that a five-second break was just as effective as a 10 or 15-second break at reducing negative emotions. “Which shows even the briefest of pauses can help diffuse an argument,” McCurry said.
The couples were heavily influenced by their partner’s emotions
The research also backed the idea that we are heavily influenced by how our partner is feeling.
“When neither partner displayed high levels of negative emotion, blast levels were generally low. By contrast, there was a significant increase in aggression when either the winner or loser displayed a high level of negative emotion, reflecting a clear shift towards more aggressive blasts,” the study said.
The authors acknowledged there were some limitations to their study, including that most participants were college students, meaning the findings may not relate to people in longer-term relationships. The researchers were also limited to measuring aggression and negative emotions through competition because it would be unethical to provoke agenuine argument between a couple. This means taking a break may or may not alleviate aggression in other scenarios.
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