Every parent values different things for their children. My parents want me to work hard and succeed in whatever career path I choose as long as I’m happy.
Even though there is more than a 40-year age gap between me and my parents, they don’t ask me about when I’m going to get married or have kids. Instead, they want me to find a good job and enjoy my young adult life. I’ve never felt pressured to give them grandchildren before I’m ready.
They instilled a strong work ethic in me from a young age
My parents always encouraged me to work hard and do my best in school. They wanted me to go to a good university and study something that both interested me and that I could get a job in. It’s not that my parents had these big career ambitions for me, like pushing me to be a doctor or a lawyer. However, they believed I was smart and hardworking enough to be successful and happy, and that it would serve me to focus on establishing myself in my career rather than having a family earlier in life.
I also value this work ethic and career mentality, which might come from being raised by baby boomers. While my parents encouraged me to work hard, I don’t feel pressure to take my life in a certain direction, which gives me the confidence and experience to do what’s best for me.
I’m sure they want grandchildren eventually, but not anytime soon
I grew up in a mostly rural, small town where many people I know my age (or younger) are already getting married and having kids. There is nothing wrong with wanting different things in life, and I’m happy for those who’ve chosen that path. But I know that’s not my path yet, and even though my parents are older, they agree.
Part of it has to do with my age — I’m only 23 — but part of it also has to do with my parents’ own life experiences. They had me when they were older, and it worked out for them; though I think they’d support whatever decisions I made, as long as it felt right for me, I don’t think they envision me settling down and having a family for at least another 10 years. And even though I’m sure my parents would like grandchildren one day, they do want me to enjoy my young adult life and focus on my career before I have kids.
I’m grateful they’ve supported me without pushing me in one direction or another
I’m grateful my parents have never used their age difference as an excuse to push me in one direction or speed up my life. Their encouragement for my professional success makes me feel validated for my personal skills and success as an independent woman — whether I choose to have a family or not.
I’m lucky to align with my parents’ values and that they support my plans, as I know that isn’t always the case in many families. It is reassuring that my parents want the best for me and will support me in taking my life at my own pace. They never mention their age as a reason for me to speed up or change how I live my life — so much so that I often never even thought about the age gap between us.
When it comes to planning my life and future, my parents want me to do what’s best for me, and though I know I will eventually need to make decisions in my life that will be best for them, right now, I’m grateful.
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