In May 2021, I prepared to graduate from Yale University with a degree in molecular biology. Instead of pride in my accomplishment or excitement to finally enter adulthood, I was filled with dread.
I had applied to over 60 job openings throughout my senior year but could not secure a full-time position in any field — let alone the highly specialized field for which I’d been trained. I had no job or plan, so two days after my graduation ceremony, I moved into my mother’s rent-stabilized two-bedroom apartment in Queens.
For the first summer I lived in New York, I worked odd jobs like babysitting, teaching short-term writing workshops, and editing high schoolers’ college essays. I revised my résumé and sent out a job application every day. I’ve always been passionate about writing, so I expanded my range to include literary and publishing jobs. No bites.
The salary ranges for every entry-level position I applied for were well below what I would need to live in New York City without my parents’ help. Even with a full-time job, I wouldn’t be able to afford to move out. But I ended up right where I needed to be.
My mom welcomed me back home after graduation
My mother immigrated to the US from Ecuador when she was 8 years old, and my father from Mexico when he was 9. The three of us are incredibly close. I was raised in Rhinebeck, a small town in the Hudson Valley, which is predominantly white.
Our family’s cultural values constantly clashed with those of my peers’ families, especially regarding multigenerational living. My friends’ parents constantly emphasized to them that “the minute you turn 18, you’re out.”
Those families seem to represent the norm around the US. In 2022, the Pew Research Center found that only 13% of non-Hispanic white Americans live in multigenerational households, compared to 26% of Hispanic and Black Americans.
In contrast, throughout my life, my parents made it clear that if I ever needed to live with them again after college, no matter the reason, they would welcome me with open arms. My father has always said, “We’re not just a family. We’re a team. Whatever you want to do, we will support you in any way we can.”
My family’s culture normalizes multigenerational living, so I felt comfortable moving in with my mother.
I love living with my mother and have no plans to leave
Six months after graduating, I finally got a 15-hour-a-week position as a marketing assistant at a literary nonprofit. My mother was thrilled I had found a job I was passionate about and over the moon that I would have to keep living with her.
Overall, it’s been better than I could’ve imagined. We eat dinner together most weeknights and then watch an episode or two of whatever TV show we’re binging together. On weekends, we go to the beach or concerts in the East Village. We even went to Queens Pride together for the first time.
This time together has only brought us closer together, and our relationship has never been stronger than it is now. I am grateful for this time we have together.
I still work for the same nonprofit. Though my hours and pay rate have increased, I am still not full-time, but I’m fine with that. I love the work I do and the people I do it with. That means I will be living with my mother for the foreseeable future, and I am OK with that. Not having to worry about making New York City rent allows me to save most of my income.
I use the extra hours in my day to write. It’s paid off: My first book will come out next February, and I couldn’t have done any of it without my mother’s support.
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