This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Sasha Gaston. It has been edited for length and clarity.
Soon after I moved into my Tampa apartment in 2018, I had water coming in through my bedroom window. When I went outside to see what was going on, I found an older woman cleaning off windowsills. It was the first time I met Charlette. She told me she often did little jobs around the apartment complex because the management doesn’t do enough.
The next day, she invited me to her house and gave me a cup of ice before pouring tea into it. We sat at her kitchen table and talked for ages. I knew right away she was a wise, welcoming woman. I wanted to be around her more.
We started talking on the phone every day and hanging out
By 2019, I was talking to Charlette on the phone every day, visiting her apartment to drink tea, talk, and watch the news. I took her to the grocery store and on Target runs. We were getting closer and becoming good friends.
She’s taught me so many basic tasks, like how to clean an air filter, do chores around the house, and clean and wax a car. She doesn’t let her age define her and is always on the go. If either of us ever needs help, we do whatever we can to help.
As we got to know and trust each other more, she started sharing about her family. Her parents didn’t raise her, and all her siblings have died. She has one cousin she rarely sees. Most of her friends live in the north, where she used to live.
Although she doesn’t have a blood family anymore, we have become each other’s family. When I gave birth to my daughter, our family grew.
My daughter was born in 2023, and Charlette loves when I bring her to visit. She has taken on a grandmother role.
She doesn’t have kids, so I celebrated her birthday
Charlette has told me she chose not to have kids because she didn’t think she’d be a good mom due to the fact that her own mother didn’t raise her. But I always tell her she would have been a perfect mom, as evidenced by how she treats me and my daughter.
My daughter’s dad joked with me that I’m obsessed with Charlette. When I told Charlette, we laughed about it, saying he was just jealous because I was always at her house.
Since knowing Charlette, I’ve always taken cupcakes and sang “Happy Birthday” to her on her special day. But in April, she turned 80 and I wanted to make a big deal of it.
She’d told me that when she was married to her second husband, she would go to Vegas to have a fun time gambling. So, for her 80th birthday, I proposed taking her to a local casino. She said she’d go and had her outfit picked out the day before our date.
We had dinner and drinks at the casino’s restaurant and then played on the slot machines.
She loved it, and said it brought back great memories of Vegas. The next day, she wrote me a card with a long message telling me how much she appreciated me taking her out. She went on to talk about it for weeks.
I posted a video on TikTok about her 80th birthday, not thinking much of it. When I woke up, I found that so many people had liked and commented. I think people just loved seeing an older person being remembered because they are so often forgotten.
Even after hours of sitting in her apartment, Charlette doesn’t want me to leave. She loves the company. She makes sure to tell me to call her the next day. I love being able to cure her loneliness.
But my friendship with Charlette has been so good for me too. Her wisdom has been such a help to me over the years. She’s taught me practical stuff but been someone I can get advice from too. I can genuinely call her my friend, even though she is decades older than I am.
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